So after about a year and a half of being out of the dating scene, I think I have officially started “seeing someone”. I say that in quotations because, three years of a long term relationship, and a year of the single life, feels like an eternity of being out of the dating game. “Seeing someone” is a label that plays it safe, although I’m pretty sure I do not even know what that consists of nowadays.
He is sweet, hard-working and easy to talk to. With just over a couple months of knowing each other, we already have a number of inside jokes and personal stories. He can dress himself well, and can drive (this is only a score for me because for some reason I have attracted men that do not hold licenses- ladies please do not take notes from my history of men). Anyway, he looks great on paper until you reach the section of age. Four years younger than myself. In male years that is supposed to be like 10 right?
I then start questioning my own desires. Do I have some sort of fetish? Or some deep rooted nurturing issues that my subconscious is trying to rectify by playing mommy to a young man- boy- or whatever he may be on that spectrum. As old school as I may sound, I still want a man that is able to hold down the fort, be able to follow my thoughts, and connect on a deeper level. I do not doubt that there are many people that will be capable of doing so, but where is the line drawn where such a connection is hindered simply because I have years of experience on him. Or is it the stereotypes and insignificant assumptions of today’s society that is even drawing this line for me in the first place.
At the end of day, does it really matter how old he is? I am still trying to figure it out, and cannot seem to shake this need to defend his age whenever I talk about it. I am enjoying spending time with him now, and I guess only time will tell if the age gap is all that significant. It’s funny, I always said I could never see myself with someone younger than I was, never mind an entire 4 year age difference. Never say never folks.