game

it's a sick game you play.
you grow your roots so deep within people,
and once you are satisfied,
you watch as you neglect to water and 
offer sunlight to the same seed you used to nurture.
-n.t

ignorance is bliss

Are you content with your ignorance?

I am in a constant state of questioning my being, and I do not know if that makes me crazy or a philosophical thinker? Maybe these terms are not mutually exclusive. There is a nagging emotion that shadows all that I do. It’s a deep feeling of being lost and never really understood. I look for meaning in everything and everyone, and almost feel ridiculed by others for doing so. Why should these thoughts be capped by the small minds that refuse to ponder on such large questions?

I am trying to learn to appreciate this feeling of “lost” as an opportunity to grow, not as something to be maintained or solved.

FAST LANE.

You have made me feel like I am difficult to love

I thought it was the all the quirks in someone where you could find the deepest affection

Because I loved you through your flaws and bad habits

I gave you every ounce of me, within a very short time

Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, and just fall too hard too quickly

But honey, I’ve been in the fast lane and I know how to control the wheel.

I may have been the one driving, but you controlled the brakes.

n.t

 

 

 

SMALL TALK

I yearn for those late night, deep conversations.

The ones where you are so tired, honesty just slips off your tongue.

Do not bore me with babble about the weather,

I want to hear about your fears, interests, and desires.

Or remind me of all the great memories we had together.

I do not want the basic answers of the who’s and the what’s

Dig a little deeper, and give me the why’s and how much

I’ll roll my eyes, and stare at the clock

I refuse to entertain this type of chatter

After all, there is a reason its called small talk.

n.t

BABY GIRL

To my baby girl,

You are allowed to cry without being called emotional.

I want you to know that you can be gentle and nurturing without being a stereotype.

You can be rough and loud without being categorized as “not feminine enough”

You can wear a dress or cargo pants, and I’d love you all the same.

You can cut your hair or dye it blue, and I’ll tell you that just makes you more “you”

The spark I see in you will light up the same cities that try and dim you.

You are strong my darling, and I know this because I see myself in you.

It’s the same drive that will make you a fighter,

Even when you think the world is against you.

-n.t

 

ENTWINED

Oh what a feeling, to be surrounded by you

To feel your gentle fingers in between mine

To feel your comforting warmth,

As our legs slowly entwine.

Our sleepy eyes meet, as we wake to the sun

I breathe your scent in

Our hearts begin to beat as one.

I lick my lips,

The one’s you like to softly chew

Your tender energy filling the room

Oh what a feeling, to be surrounded by you.

-n.t

 

YOUTH

never forget that love, and curiosity,
 remain the lifeline of your youth.

n.t

LOST

Lost but not forgotten

I promised myself I would find you again

I see a glimpse of you every so often

But you never stick around long enough for me to enjoy you

I have looked under the messiness of my past

I have tried to find you in the hopes of my future

I have tried to force you upon my face

But, it never really is the same

Smile, please do not hide any longer

 

-n.t

fearful

I don’t want to be fearful anymore.

Fearful of all the things I am missing out on in the world.

Or worse,

What the world is missing out on with me.

-n.t

farewell

farewell to the old me,
the one that thought she couldn't be.

--n.t